The Proposal

The first fully coloured comic on the blog ever! A groovy way to end the year as well, eh?
But in hindsight, 2016 has been a rather disappointing year with slight variations in emotional tone. Still, will 2017 be any different? Probably not, considering it's most likely the year I finish my university studies and do some internship work. Sigh...

In regards to the comic, I find that approaching anybody to ask them to be by reference is surprisingly daunting. I've even had one person turn down my reference request. Then again, what could that person say to persuade an employer to hire me? So remember kids, try and get your references to say good things about you. And from there, they will finish the home run.

Fake Job Listing

Ah, this one brings back some memories. Surprisingly based on a true occurrence. I mean, how often do you find someone with 4+ years in project management AND falls for these cheesy job listings? There's a reason we have job sites and there's a reason we have logos for companies. Still, I will recommend for anyone out there please, DON'T FALL FOR THESE CHEAP TRICKS.
Trust me, kiddo, I have seen that side of the grass, and let me assure you, that's no grass; that's some fraud takin' all your money right before your eyes. Well, not to that extreme, but if I hadn't stayed on my toes, I would've lost much more than just my savings...

Speed Read

This is how I read most job advertisements these days, more or less. After all, I have been in an interview where I had about half the skills the panel were looking for, and they didn't even call me back about the interview result (it was implicit that they did not want to hire me, and both the panel and I knew this in due time).
I suppose the moral is that the more skills you can meet, the more power you have. But even the mighty have their own burdens to bear...

Mathematically Proving Joblessness

You can tell this is a false proof because of the following reasons:
a) Getting a Job only equals 0 because it is multiplied by 0. It's like saying 1 x 0 = 0, therefore 1 = 0.
b) Suppose Getting a Job = 0 is a true fact. Therefore, Easy = 0 since Getting a Job = Easy.
However, following the proof given, 1 = Easy divided by Getting a Job, a problem is encountered. It's a mathematical fact that 0/0 is undefined (see here), which is certainly not 1. Therefore, the conclusion is false.
c) Would you really trust this blog to give you a novel game-changing mathematical formula that could make you rich and maybe win you an award? I thought so (i.e. the answer is no).

Still, I suppose you can take this as an implicit optimism that you can (probably) always get a job somehow, someday. It may not necessarily be a good job, or something that can pay the bills, but that's what you get for a vague statement like this.

On another note, the blog has hit 1000 views! Yeah!
As I sort of promised back in the early days, I'll try and get around to reopening the Facebook page related to Dante Denmore. Also, I might go about other administrative elements of the blog, like changing the background image and all. So you might be the first to see these new changes in the works. I should also get around to adding features to allow for more reader input, both here on the blog and on social media...

EDIT: Check out the Facebook page! It's a little dry, but it's (hopefully) a work in progress.

Overwhelmed

You know the job is way out of your league when you didn't even know the names of things you're expected to know before even applying for the job in the first place. And there you are: stuttering like an idiot and showing your competence equally so.
But you'd think that if you made it to the interview stage that the employer must find something redeemable about you. Or perhaps they just pity you and just want to waste your time? Surely, some of us will forever be stuck in the corporate limbo between qualification and quantifiable job.

Wrong Year

Based on a true story. Well, except for the last two frames. Though I would be surprised to see that happen. Still, a lot can happen in 500 years. Namely, finding a job and establishing financial security.
Even so, I don't understand why job adverts don't take the effort to make their advertisements as pristine as possible. I mean, what does a spelling error say about your company? That second-best is good enough, or you overlook fine details in favour of sheer reputation?
Perhaps I should even make more comics about employment hypocrisies...

Confirmation

A constant problem I face in most job applications isn't just the process of weaseling your way through the selection criteria or preparing a custom resume for that job I'm unlikely to get, albeit they are prevalent issues.
But one of the number one problems I face is the CONFIRMATION OF MY APPLICATION! I mean, why is it so difficult to confirm an application I've spent days and hours preparing, stressing over fine details and such? Usually I have to review my application about 5 times before I actually submit it, and then I find out I can just update my application before the cutoff date. Augh.
Well, as the saying goes: "Waste not, want not, son".

An Absolute Commute

Some jobs are in easy locations, like near the university or close to where I live. Others are in slightly more difficult but rather predictable places, like in the city. And then there's the jobs I mostly encounter, located in other states and sometimes other countries. Still, should I be so hasty to dismiss a possible (but still unlikely) job opportunity just because of its location? Well, if there's anything I've learned from that Chinese dating show "If You Are The One", there's more or less an excuse for anything these days.

The Bodycount

It's Halloween, and we're celebrating with a close-to-midnight comic release! Oooooo! Actually, I've just been rather busy today, and for the next few days. I mean, who the heck plans out when all these assignments are released?! 4 days of consecutive due dates, with various tests scattered in between. UGH.

But anyway, I should make some notes about the comic itself. This one took quite a while to do. I mean, it does take some effort to get all those Dante's piled up high.
But I believe this was inspired by a video I watched from some Google interns, saying "This is the greatest place I've ever worked" and "The work ethic is so trendy!". And I'm thinking "Ja, but do you know how many people you had to step on just to get where you are now? Do you know how many broken aspirations and shattered dreams it took just to get your dream to come true?".
To which they could respond "Yup, and it. Feels. GREAT...".

A Familiar Face

This used to happen a lot, but now not so much. Partly because I'm always forgetting to get my name tag in the first place at several networking contexts. In fact, I was recently at a networking event where I think someone stole my name tag (I'm not sure anymore, I never did find it). So having to introduce yourself manually makes for an interesting conversation starter, especially when you mention the fact that you don't have a name tag.

An International Opportunity

Partially inspired by a rather random interaction with an international student and how they have a worse time trying to find jobs than I do. Admittedly, I can't say they were wrong. But then again, I always seem to find international students (including said student mentioned earlier) with some kind of part-time work, like being a chef, working in a retail store or something or rather; precisely the kinds of jobs I was looking for at the end of my high school days.

Job Dream

You know you're desperate for a job when you literally dream about your dream job. Well, not your job you have when you dream, but your "ideal" job, you know what I'm saying?
Now that I think about it, "dream job" implies that you're aiming for some whimsical, fairy tailed job that lets you sleep all day and pays you in candy floss. Sorry to break it to you, pal: Candy floss in excessive doses can lead to "...poor memory formation, learning disorders, [and] depression".

Follow-Up

Inspired from a more-or-less true story that actually happened to me. Well, the last frame is exaggerated, but I could feel the awkwardness of  talking to some employer after 5-6 weeks of nothing. Even now, I haven't called them back, partly because of time limitations.
Still, at least you made the effort to carry on through rather than collect *yet another* business card that inevitably ends up stuffed into your wallet/purse and forgotten evermore.

If I had a dollar...

$2,000,000 and counting! I don't know why people think it's so easy to get a job in I.T. Sure, there are lots of opportunities, but wouldn't that be an indicator of the difficulty of landing a job in the first place? Think about it: If a job is easy, lost of people will get that job, and there won't be many listings readily available.
So, if anything, the ease of getting a job is proportional to the number of listings for said job.

Also, if you're wondering where I got the statistics from:

Average weekly earning for full time adults, Australia 2016
http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/6302.0?opendocument&ref=HPKI

Graduate Annual Earning for a graduate web developer in Redfern
(Obtained from the university Career Hub)

Atlassian Total Revenue, June 30 2016
https://investors.atlassian.com/financials-and-filings/financial-statements/default.aspx

No Longer Available

It happens more often than you think. And it's no less disappointing disqualifying for a job position before you've even applied for it. Although, I do admire the speed in which I'm informed about my failure instead of waiting 3 months just to be told I was *close* to qualifying. And that's if the employer even remembers to reply back about my application...

The Right Balance

Murphy's Law clearly states that "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Perhaps that's why I don't have a job yet (or ever); there are just so many things that can go wrong. Whether it's being too specialized, being under-skilled, not fitting in with the company culture or just simply not owning an Apple product (I lost a job interview because it was a requirement from an employer), it's no wonder why some people hate job hunting.

Career Plan leads to Dream Job

Inspired from a random pamphlet I obtained from the Careers Services at the university. Sadly, I don't have it anymore, but if there's anything I learned, it's that my career efforts were doomed from the moment I stepped foot onto the university premises.

Daily Motivation

I have a tendency to be particularly blunt, mostly at the worst of times. More so, I also have a habit of misinterpreting sentences in a weird way, especially when it comes to job interviews. I remember one time I was in an interview, and I was asked "So tell me about your background?" to which I replied "Are you referring to my ethnicity, or my technical background?" Not surprisingly, I didn't get that job.

Phone Call Frequency Graph

Sigh... I think you'd be surprised if you ever found out how many times I start my week with a rejection email from a job I applied for. And, quite frankly, it's getting real annoying. You know that job interview I was hinting at a while back (did I actually hint at it? Oh well, there was a job interview recently). They take me all the way to the second last interview and... I mess it all up.
So that experience will be comic-alised soon enough, but for now, here's a grim reminder to keep your phone with you, in the extremely slim chance that a company wants to interview you. I actually lost a job interview because they called me and I was in the toilet and, you know, farting and pooping isn't exactly professionally appealing to many employers.

Work as a Driving Instructor!

It's certainly no surprise that some people are just after your money. As in my case, and the majority of December last year, these people took the form of driving instructors.
Now, I know you're thinking "Good grief, Dante! Don't hate on these productive citizens of society!". <sarcasm> Look, I've seen the way things are done, and I can certainly see the financial benefits of charging $55 to make sadistic (and perhaps slightly racist?) comments and slap the learner's hand every time they make a mistake like forgetting to check 12 different places before turning on the indicator.</sarcasm>
I guess some driving instructors are in it for the money, some for the fame, others to get a kick out of extorting students of their money, hour by hour, day by day.

The Final Say

There's nothing better to start than a good old-fashioned rejection letter from a job I recently applied to. Yes, that is the basis of this week's comic. Because it seems to me that even when the stars align in the correct way, those employers just sneeze away all your opportunities for prospective work experience.
So employers are some kind of universal force that defies the very laws and principles of reality itself? Well, it would explain how some of them are just full of themselves and couldn't care less about an unemployed scumbag like myself. Good gravy, did I just call myself a scumbag on my own blog? Surely, these are dark days we are standing in.

Vague Expectations

When you're a social veteran like me (well, "veteran" is a rather pompous term in this case, but we'll run with it), you start to develop a nose for people who aren't interested in talking to you. Notably, I find these are usually employers and people who are likely to provide lucrative employment opportunities somewhere down the line.

Anyway, a real-life update: University has just started, and job interviews nearing up! So I've been quite busy lately. Kinda makes me think about how I'll be juggling work AND study, if that ever is the case. Still, at least I'd have a job at that point.

Time Crisis

It's hardly surprising how some employers can't respect you as an avidly desperate job seeker, let alone, as a person. And I remember this one jerk of an employer... Ooh, just thinking about that person makes my blood boil, my kidneys expand and my large intestines to start shaking uncontrollably.
As in most cases, it's generally not a good idea to loiter around in misery and disappointment when it comes down to bad job seeking experiences, but then again, that is the main premise of this comic blog (Or was it?).

The Odd Job

Inspired from a rather demeaning comment from my parents which argued that making a living off mowing lawns would be more productive than studying at university. True, I can see where they are approaching this issue from, but it feels like Trick-or-Treat except you have to nauseatingly work for your candy.

Resume Condition

Your state of your resume says a lot about yourself, and perhaps about your state of mind.
As in most cases, my resume says "This man has sprinted through hell, caught 16 different illnesses and fought off a wild terrier to deliver this lousy piece of paper to your cold, lifeless hands".
So make sure you keep that resume nice and neat, so the employer won't be immediately disappointed with the sorry sack of credentials they see you as.

Interview Confidence Graph

For the majority of interviews I've been to (i.e. less than 20 in total as of writing this), this is more or less  how my confidence levels go down. Partly, there's the fact that I'm not a very good clutch performer, so I often slip up in a sudden-death-make-or-break situation.

Still, even if you do get the job, I predict that your confidence levels will skyrocket briefly before realizing the amount of effort and time is needed to actually do the job well.

Less Than Impressed

Is there no end to these ordeals? Short answer: no. Wait, so does that mean there is an end to all this misery, or that response is simply just confirming that there is indeed no end to these ordeals. I always get confused at this double logic paradox, if I can even call it that.

Company Research

I understand that business environments are constantly changing, especially in my intended field of employment (Information Technology), but you could at least make the effort to make your public profile, you know... better.
Slap some basic but useful information about what you do, put down some contact details, maybe even have some simple little JavaScript interface doodads (e.g. drop-down lists, highlighted buttons, that sort of thing). And Ker-smash! You got yourself something people can read about.

Oh, and if you were wondering, Company X actually exists on LinkedIn. Whether or not it's an actual organisation is beyond me. As for the website, it's just a quick HTML page I whipped up in a day, because I don't actually want to hate on any actual companies (apologies in advance?). Maybe one day they might actually become valuable, so it's good to keep your neutral-good connections intact.

Interview Time

It's always a regretful feeling watching someone make a good interview impression, and then you walk in and you can tel immediately that this candidate more or less locked in the job. Perhaps I should ask next time "I'm not going to get this job, am I?". Then again, that just goes to show how much of a defeatist I am, which will probably end the interview even faster than making a crude racial joke about your employer.

On another note, I feel as though I've been lacking some of the longer frame comics for a while. Sure, they're more timely to make and require more depth to get the punchline out, but if it help you to help me make better comics, then so be it. For the time being though, exams are on the rise, so I can't dedicate too much time to this. Also gotta go find jobs and all as well.
But I suppose if the support is there, I will try and make a way. After all, "feedback has its rewards", ja?

The Call of Duty

Fun fact: This actually happened to me in a real job interview. Yes, even the employer more or less said those last few words as well. Totally embarrassing, and let me tell you, that job interview just went downhill from there.
So let that be a lesson to you, from one miserable jobseeker to another: Always turn your phone off before an interview.
Also, another fun fact: That phone call wasn't even a phone call; it just a text from my service provider that I was running out of credit! <sarcasm>Thanks, phone company. That piece of information totally saved my bacon, and I am forever in your debt</sarcasm>.

Interview Perception - Tetris Metaphor

It happens more often than you think. Yes, I am also talking about the "being-bad-at-Tetris" part as well. But just when you though you had that near perfect setup for a clean Tetris (i.e. clearing 4 rows at once), the employer snaps you back into reality, where you've got holes everywhere and nothing seems to turn out right.
Most days can be like that. And some days, you can actually work around this mess of blocks into a nicer situation that really shows your ability to clutch situations and grab that job like a crazed sociopath. I have yet to encounter that day... no, I don't intend on turning into a crazed sociopath...

In any news, we've CHANGED TO BLOG NAME! Hoorah! Now users will be slightly confused about the blog domain, especially since I can't edit Tweets for the past 14 comics posted. Ah well, consider a legacy of how far we've come and a memento of what will be.
I've also disabled an apparent Facebook linked to Dante Denmore. Primarily, this is because I'd like to stay small for a while, and then expand onto other social media, such as Facebook, if this blog ever gets its wings going. For now, Twitter and Blogger will be the way to go. Plus, less maintenance on my end to update multiple social media channels. A win-win, but in such a way that nobody really gains anything significant.
Also, I've posted the email I use to associate with this blog on the main page, on the side somewhere. If you really want to send me comments (or just simply spam me with random email ads), you're free to do so. Perhaps I might even incorporate some of that into future comics? Who knows, who cares.

Lastly, I've decided that "Below Minimum Wage" will be a subheading for the blog. This is because I'd still like to pay homage (pronounced home-aj) to the past blog name, and keep that idea of life's phases in play. It might be possible the name will never disband the extra "Below Minimum Wage" ever, but again, I think a seasons setup might work nicely, especially when I am trying to find a job in the world of reality.

Again, anything at all, Tweet me, email me, comment me. And if you're not happy about changes, talk it up! If anything, I'd like to see somebody who's bothered to write virtual words to a one-man comic blogger.

Just a Few Questions

I think there were about 50 or so total questions in this specific job application. Not surprisingly, I didn't even make it to the in-person screening stage. Funny how you can spend half your week researching a company, only to find out they never needed you in the first place.

Also, I found that Googling your blog name is always useful to gauge whether or not people can actually find your content easily. Turn out, there's already a well-established comic series called "Minimum Wage" by Bob Fingerman. So I might end up renaming the entire blog to "Dante Denmore", after our sorrowful hero (see last frame of  "Alternatives to Getting a Job").

In that case, I might run with the "various chapters / seasons" approach, where "Below Minium Wage" is the first pack of comics in a series of comics parodying joblessness. My question is: Will anybody notice the change of blog name?
I would presume most people won't mind, but in the case there are "passionate" fans out there who do want a say in all this, I'll state that 30 May 2016 will be the last day this blog will be called "Below Minimum Wage", before we switch to "Dante Denmore". If you can convince me to keep the name as is, it will be so. Otherwise, time's-a-ticking before you can get your next hit of employment disappointment.

Practice Questions

Sure, interviews are supposed to grill you on your thought processes and approaches to applying logic to problems, but in the context of a make-or-break employment opportunity topped with the pressure to perform well and impress the employer, you're going to get wrecked.
In some cases, you might be able to pull off a lucky shot, or it's kind of easy and I'm just pathetically incompetent at answering job interview questions. Personally, I'd say both.

Phone Interview

Sorry for posting this comic so late in the week! I've had to prep up for an IRL job interview which, not surprisingly, I didn't quite make the cut. Oddly enough, I think I'll be in a slightly more reputable state with this company once I send them my post-interview "thank you" email letter.

Note that the next few comics over the coming weeks will run as a series of experiences about another job interview I was involved in last year. So stay tuned, cowboy up and buckle down, 'cause this is going to be one mildly psychotic ride!

Multiplied by 0

I remember reading somewhere on LinkedIn about the multipliers of adding things to your profile. It's probably removed from the site by now, but either way, it's doing nothing to get me those precious profile views!
Maybe I should just make another LinkedIn account just to artificially boost my view count...

Good for Nothing

There's a reason why job agencies never reveal the names of their clients. Apparently, it's so they get paid to be middlemen between applicants and corporations, and so they sift out all the worthless grout from slightly useful sludge.
But I think they just want to be absolute jerks and make your life more miserable, because they couldn't get anywhere better in their lifetimes! Or that's just my pessimistic experience.
Either way, there are always people out there to make your life more miserable for no practical reason.

The Right Find

Finding jobs isn't easy. Finding jobs in Australia is less easier, especially when you're browsing through job databases of companies who like to stuff every global job listing they have into your face, which 99% of them aren't actually in Australia.

The worst part is when I find a location I've never even heard of, so I spend the next 20 minutes trying to find out where it is relative to the local train station and then realizing how awkward it is to get there on a regular university day.


Anyway, in regards to last week's conundrum, if you may: "Dante Denmore" will be the umbrella name for a series of blogs about the stages of my employment life. Here's how I imagine it may go down, but bear in mind this is a very sketchy, mildly drawn out idea and is subject to change:
"Below Minimum Wage" - My life trying to find a job, and such
"Paid Days" - My life in a job of sorts.
"The Price of Pain" - My life leaving a job for whatever reason and trying to find a new job.

Who knows, will this be even more confusing? Or will this work as a seasons system? Tune in next time on... Below Minimum Wage!

Career Hub Breakdown

At the university I attend, there's a Career Hub where students can browse jobs from all sorts of questionable places in a vain attempt to grab some relevant work experience before graduation.
More or less, a university-run job site.

One of the main problems is the organisation of jobs. I mean, COME ON. When I browse Science jobs, I expect to see Science-related jobs, not some part-time high school maths tutor position somewhere in Burwood.


Anyway, enough ranting about facts; I have been thinking about changing the blog name to something slightly shorter and more consistent with the Twitter name, @dante_denmore, namely "Dante Denmore". Apparently, @belowminimumwage is too long for a Twitter name, so that's why it hasn't already been used, if you didn't already know.
Partly, it's because if you go and type in "Below Minimum Wage", you'll just find articles about financial corruption and injustice. So for the purposes of search-ability, this sparked the initial idea.
Of course, for all you readers out there that do read these blurbs, you're welcome to comment either on this blog or on the Twitter page about this.

When will the name change occur? I'll give it some thought. Though, I hope to reach a result by the end of this week or next week. Don't want to offend anyone who is starting to take a liking for these comics...

New Messages!

Sometimes, LinkedIn can be like a really annoying community group that keeps sending you things in the mail, just because you visited their stall briefly during the local festival.

But why not just flag it as spam? Because, just like some really annoying community groups, they can have some interesting things sometimes, like a barbecue or a striptease poker night.

Alternatives to getting a job

Of course, you could just leech off your parents for a disappointingly long time. You could be like those stereotypical nerds who collect all sorts of sci-fi oddities, live in their parent's basement and sustain themselves on a poor diet of coffee and microwavable burritos.

In any case, you're probably better off just trying to legitimately get yourself a job.

Why a company won't hire you

The worst part is when companies don't tell you that you won't get hired, and get really confused when you try and apply for the same position next time around.

On another note, if you've been keeping track of the post dates, Blogger always thinks Mondays are Sundays. So I'm still posting weekly, but lousy Blogger keeps messing up the dates, so it seems as though I double posted issues #1 and #2 in the first week.

Types of Employers

In hindsight, I probably should've taken the jobs offered by all those Cheesy Suspect employers. Sure, it will probably lead to unfair working conditions and illegal exploitation, but at least I'd have a job. Sigh...

On another note, we're finally on Twitter! Because "Below Minimum Wage" is too long for a username, we've settled down on dante_denmore, so check it out and get notified on new comics and all!

A Job for Anybody

Inspired by a (more or less) true story that happened to me! Albeit, with more details and less parodies, but this comic captures the essence of my failure, with a hint of cayenne.

Holding Back

It's almost as though some employers are trying to keep me from getting a job. Then again, that makes me sound paranoid and irrational. Should you be surprised to know that?

Anyway, I was thinking of getting a basic Twitter account or something so you can keep updated on new posts every week, so you don't have to madly check back everyday. It means more work on my end, since I have to maintain myself on social media, but if this blog continues to grow, I might as well do that...

First Comic!

And this is why you always take a business card when possible.

Anyway, being the first post ever on this blog, things might change a bit as I try and get the blog "feel" in the right groove, so stay tuned every week for more employment disappointment.

Note: A small change has been added: These comics will now have an issue number (top left) and my name with the year of posting (bottom right) added. I suppose that should make these seem slightly more professional.