A Hate for Cooking

To be honest, I don't think I'll ever understand how people can be so excited about cooking. Maybe it's some long repressed psychological trauma that is now finally manifesting itself as disdain for most culinary things.

The Internet tells me that cooking is supposed to help with said psychological trauma, but seeing as nothing has changed on that front, I'm leaning towards my secondary reasoning: I've magically understood some universal truth about cooking that most people haven't realised yet.

The Communal Fridge

Unlike all the other dubious, unsolicited advice I seem to spout, this one's tried and tested, admittedly only once. And including that last panel. Some of you reading this might be thinking: "Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!" To that I reply with: Honesty tastes better, especially their salami.

Out of Sync

Essentially part two of "Delivery Tracking", this was also something I more or less remember happening (albeit far less dramatic) in my Über Eats app when I didn't indicate that I'd received my food. I'm sure someone in their R&D department thought of this edge case, right? Or maybe this spiel is something that every Über Eats customer experiences regardless of any delays.

Delivery Tracking

Based on that one time I used Über Eats to order food, and then realising that I don't need to update the app to confirm that I've received my food. Not too sure how many people are interested in tracking their food courier post-delivery, but I guess it might be useful for when you have the sudden urge to give them an in-person tip for all their hard work... while they are 2 kilometres away from you.

Anti-Social Eating

Most people find it strange that my ability to eat is inversely proportional to the number of people in my immediate vicinity. I mean, it just sounds like a sad excuse for having a small stomach. Or quite possibly a psychological coping mechanism for the lack of genuine relationships in one's life... Yeah, I prefer the first explanation better.

Cravings

Picture this: It's 3:00am and you're still sleeping. Suddenly, you wake up with an unusual need for Korean fried chicken. You spend the rest of the morning thinking about this sudden food craving and not sleeping. It's 8:00am now, and you are both tired and not in the mood for Korean fried chicken.

Now imagine how differently things would have gone if you managed to find a Korean fried chicken restaurant at 3:00am...

Bad Company

Inspired by true events, where my friend and I both ate at a local fried chicken vendor in two separate instances and had wildly different experiences when it came to assessing the food. Then again, having low standards for food edibility deems a lot of things as good.

But here's a pro-tip for you fried chicken connoisseurs: The chicken is better if you have it prepared within the first hour or so when the vendor opens. It might seem obvious, but I think a lot of people underestimate the effect of a fresh batch of oil on the taste of fried chicken.