Can't take the heat

It's a known fact that cooking food in a microwave always results in one of three outcomes:

• Food is still cold.
• Food is burned to a crisp.
• Food is just warm enough to make you think it's fully cooked through, but then you realise only a thin outside layer was cooked.

Which is to say 2/3 times your food will be still cold after microwaving it. I guess people should start referring to it as a "cold-wave"...