Free != Free

We all know the old saying: "Freedom isn't free", and your materialistic goods are no exception.
Over the last two or so years, I'd like to think I've seen it all, especially that one time I argued with a volunteer handing out free packs of tampons, to the point where they reluctantly tossed me a pack and never really wanted to see my face again. But that's only scratching the surface; when I heard about Hetty Green, I finally realized what peak performance truly looks like...

Know your Coupons

We've all come across one of these at some point or another: You find a voucher for something you've always wanted to buy, only to find that the fine print shatters your material dreams faster than Tesla's stock value between March 26 and April 2 in 2018.
Even worse are those snobby little shopkeepers in the city who stupidly refuse to take your coupon because it's "expired" when THERE IS CLEARLY NO EXPIRY DATE ANYWHERE IN THE DARNED FINE PRINT! AUGH! If that's their contribution to society, then I guess I'll waste my money elsewhere...

Price Increase

I'm not sure if anyone still remembers that brief stint that Cadbury did to their fundraiser boxes many years ago, where they bumped up the price from $1.00 or $1.20 and suddenly half the student base at school wasn't interested in buying chocolate anymore. Even now, things like fuel prices are leaning towards the premium end of the price spectrum, which goes to show the profound effect of increasing the cost of something by a few tens of cents. Or I'm just a massive miser. Whichever comes first.

Misread

If it's not a conveniently obscured sign open to misinterpretation, it's usually the word "FREE*" with all these low-level details that over-complicate even the simplest of sentences, much like a legal contract. You know, I remember a time when things were simpler. The local fish market gave away free shallow-fried fish samples, free candies came from questionable sources, cereal boxes had free trinkets (even though though the cereal itself was sub-par and more expensive). I guess this is no country for old men... And now I want to go watch a Josh Brolin movie.

Financially-Efficient Gift Suggestions

With Father's Day literally around the corner, I can probably guess you're scrambling and fumbling about, trying to scavenge enough cash for that coveted Gruntmaster 6000. Fret no more, your boy Dante has got you covered with four fool-proof gift ideas that have been tried-and-tested over the course of time.
Although having said that, do expect disappointment from others who have spent hundreds of dollars and hours of time perfecting that one-of-a-kind gift, but what you lack in finesse you make up for in savings.