Job Success Chart

Over the last 3 - 4 years of on-and-off job searching, I've always had this biased perception of work experience, in the sense that your chances of getting a job are heavily influenced by the applicants who apply for said job. Sure, your own competency and abilities are important, but when compared toe-to-toe with any bloke you pull off the streets, would you still stand a chance in this dog-eat-dog industry? 
Hence, this rather inaccurate chart was quickly pulled together partly for the purposes of getting a comic out on schedule, but also as a reminder that you'll always lose to industry "soft spots", or those people who have general innate qualities that makes them more appealing to hire in a given context (e.g. bilingual applicants in a customer-facing job).

A Pack of Fools

Inspired from true events last year when I asked this kind of question to a bunch of employees(?)from some company or something at a popup stall on the university premises. Eventually, about three personnel were involved and only one (i.e. the main person running the stall) could provide a half-decent response.
Perhaps deemed as one of those disappointing times where you wait around for like 10 minutes and leave more confused than before. But come on! If you want people engaged with whatever you're selling to people, at least have some bare-bones knowledge about it (even if it's wrong?).

Profitting off Jobseekers

Suits, shoes, belts, ties and the works. It all comes at a scary price in the triple digits. Sure, you might be able to skimp out on something, but your conscience knows it's missing a key piece of attire to get you into that cosy new job you've been spying on for the last 4 years (and at this point has expired, so your efforts inevitably fail regardless).
But once you've got it all together, they say that you ascend into a higher state of being called "Business Formal", or "Business Casual" if you're skimping out on the tie and tailcoat. And at this stage, people on public transport will think you have better things to do than cry in your room everyday, and some younger members of society may even address you more respectfully! 

Company Knowledge

The plan: Research a company to get a decent idea of what they do, get called from said company, tell them about what you know as well as raise well-articulated questions for whoever is calling (presumably a HR Manager of sorts), and then progress to the next stage of the job interview process.

In reality: Procrastinate by any means possible to minimise time spent on researching a company, get called from said company as a complete and utter surprise, scramble to pull together as many facts about the company from the Internet as you barely manage to traverse the conversation, and then realise that everything you said in the last 20 minutes hardly made any coherent sense to whoever was calling.

Which path will you take, amigo? Choose one, and choose wisely (i.e. choose reality, because very few things ever go to plan in the world of jobs).