Open to interpretation

One of the many gripes I have about online recipes is their blind assumption that the reader is using the same measurements as they are and can correctly portion out vaguely quantifiable terms such as "a pinch" or "taste for seasoning". I suppose the counterargument would be that I'm an incompetent "cook" that trips up on such small details, to which I would shed a single tear.

The Bitter Truth

Based on the existential horror that I'm going to have to inevitably learn to cook to some level, much like the shock of having to complete the annual tax return, pay phone bills, cleaning the home and the like. Perhaps one should stop trying to outrun the responsibilities of life? It's a truth some of us find hard to swallow...

A Hate for Cooking

To be honest, I don't think I'll ever understand how people can be so excited about cooking. Maybe it's some long repressed psychological trauma that is now finally manifesting itself as disdain for most culinary things.

The Internet tells me that cooking is supposed to help with said psychological trauma, but seeing as nothing has changed on that front, I'm leaning towards my secondary reasoning: I've magically understood some universal truth about cooking that most people haven't realised yet.

The Communal Fridge

Unlike all the other dubious, unsolicited advice I seem to spout, this one's tried and tested, admittedly only once. And including that last panel. Some of you reading this might be thinking: "Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!" To that I reply with: Honesty tastes better, especially their salami.